finally!

Finally!

I managed get to keep my boy gadgets - phone, dongle and nintendo. Definitely not easy. 

Struggle for two weeks, everynight to have a check what time is he sleeping. And his 'low sugar level' kind of attitude making people crazy.

And again, we are not sure or perhaps he play it smart way to have his hidden gadget and to 'utilise' it at the right timing.

First attempt, yesterday said not feeling well hard to breath and so brought him to doctor and ended up with gas reflux at tummy and so with lots of medication. And doctor given him a long consultation about sleeping early and 'screen time'. And it seem working 'a lil bit', he slept early.

Second attempt, he said he fever and not going to school. I doubt.

As what my instinct telling me, his only buddy is not in the class, having a 'holiday' for two weeks!

So, Hello?? Why should I bother to go to school? Nothing intresting and no buddy. 

Third thing, we found out that  he recently secretly bought himself a dongle, with wifi connection to his pc! Yoohoo! Full freedom. 

👧 I blamed myself for not being firm enough to decisions and as usual, people will take it for granted. What for?

Its definitely driving me crazy. 

With too much doses of prozac, caffeine and even with oldformula to 'soothing' myself.

And I rely on these to make myself staying alert, self control of emotions and to calm me down. 

Is that the right way, or should I say am I purposely relying all these and yet giving an excuse that Im not listening to my innerself.

Which I dont like this system at all.

So, i protest.

Like Coco incident, depression is scary.

But not able being yourself is even scarier.

Which one you want to choose to be?

How much can I handle. I wonder. 🥲

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