1st attempt

Infact, I dint get what I intended to do

Mentioned to give a full release of freedom for him

And yet, again I'd ruined it

By again caught him at 430 in the midnight or what time it is, ah. I cant even remember.

And so, my prozac is end of the course 🤪

Thats why Im here to 'journal myself' at this odd hour 0130 which is odd hours for me.

Im exhausted. So much in the mind running by itself and yet Im puzzled for not sure how am I gonna save it this round.

I miss my boy and I cant even really recall when was my last to see his face with his sharp features.

I really need some hints and energy for how to tackle this challenge. He refuse talking, refuse even to just glance at me at once.

This is at the age of 13. What they mention is  the rebellious age which the teenagers is still finding their own identity. Even said, to release full freedom and to talk about terms shall be the right way, by using right communication skills and technique. Once, I read the book mentioning that parenting is a chemistry between Science + Artistic, which you need to combine the logical solutions together by using abstract talent skills.

Sound so complicated. 🤪

Oh please, my mind is just depending that I should get back my medication to get through my quality sleep. But we know that shouldnt be the way.🥲

Perhaps, I should commit with some terms within myself to get my boy to be in-tied with my energy.

Firstly, no more shouting and screaming towards them, learn how to get my negative energy through accepting the emotions and learn to tackle it. Let it get through your mind calmfulness. Can you? 

Secondly, no more alcohol abusing infront of the kids. By over drinking will definitely say something that Im not supposed to. Promise?

Thirdly, by always stand at their shoes to understand why they are doing the same acts over and over. Be more considerate and do not act self-centered. Dont always assume that you are the victim of the whole incidient caused. You need to be responsible for what had happened and what is happening now.

Forthly, please appreciate the little gratitude from other people. Dont always take for granted and to seek for attention. Remember, nobody owes you anything. 

Fifth, meditate more and learn to slow it down. Think for another extra 5secs for one little small act will cause a different outcome.

Sixth, promise yourself that will spend 15mins of reading habit before sleep to ensure some good vibes will bring you through. 

Seventh, be strong with your mind instinct to ensure that your boy will come back with you again. You wouldnt want to loose him. Guide and make sure you always stay by his side.

😇🥰