new chapter
Its been another year since my last post. And here i am again by writing blog whereas i realise i have no one to turn to. Its pathetic. Lastnight at one moment, i felt like i wwnt ro commit suicide. I m not capable to handle my emotions anymore. And the next moment i feel like i want to runaway from this 'trapped situation' of mine and i notice i have no where to go. No more other homes for me, and no more someone close that I can just do nothing and be myself. I miss ahnek so much. Every day at this hour, i would expect her call to check on me but yet at one point i felt she is annoyed that I needed to 'talk' with her and now deserved me! that i wont get that call anymore. Im terrified and im lost. Am i being strong enough to stand for what I supposed to be infront of everyone for a short period of time or like I always mention, till when the kids are fully grown-up. And when would that be? I cant even afford to have a proper meal myself and yet I need to snatch my da...
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