:) its just me

I agree there is no a guide point where how the parenting technique is right or wrong. My mother inlaw wanted me to apologize to him Regardless saying I dont support his school changing. Regardless I spent time with two small ones than to concern about him. Did I ? I'd tried my very best to understand him and to notice his small little gestures. Yes, we know he is different. Or should say with mild autism, but a smart one. He knows where should he spend his time to grab the attention and yet to act naive infront of the right people. Im upset, Im dissappointed. And again, I admit that Im a avoider who doesnt want to face problems when it attacks. It just exactly what had happened during the past and can forsee Im just repeating what my parents arw doing. I choose to avoid and escape. Once, I met a gf saying that after many years of being a good wife and a good mother, then someday sometime, she changed and she got back her own character, the real of herself. She divorced and she had...

Infact, I dint get what I intended to do Mentioned to give a full release of freedom for him And yet, again I'd ruined it By again caught him at 430 in the midnight or what time it is, ah. I cant even remember. And so, my prozac is end of the course 🤪 Thats why Im here to 'journal myself' at this odd hour 0130 which is odd hours for me. Im exhausted. So much in the mind running by itself and yet Im puzzled for not sure how am I gonna save it this round. I miss my boy and I cant even really recall when was my last to see his face with his sharp features. I really need some hints and energy for how to tackle this challenge. He refuse talking, refuse even to just glance at me at once. This is at the age of 13. What they mention is  the rebellious age which the teenagers is still finding their own identity. Even said, to release full freedom and to talk about terms shall be the right way, by using right communication skills and technique. Once, I read the book mentioning that ...

I read on some topics regarding on the Prozac to define -  Fluoxetine, sold under the brand name Prozac, among others, is  an antidepressant of the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) class . It is used for the treatment of major depressive disorder, obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD), bulimia nervosa, panic disorder, and premenstrual dysphoric disorder. the current medication that I'm with  at this moment Not to force that is a must to commit with it but yet it really helps alot Perhaps, one of the best meditation is also by Journaling has been stopped for a long long time since after I'd been so "drown" with the life at this moment BUSY with no quality moments and yet getting all the stress all by myself And yet to claim that I needed something to ensure myself is OK sound ridiculous But I believe Journaling is definitely one of the option that I can get rid of myself with  either the medication the imagination of even the powder or so Please let it work...

 说 也转眼间， 忙盲莽 也就2023年半年也过了。 也说，之前才坚持那7个月的 ‘凌之廊’，所谓自己的品牌，每滴每分都是自己的努力， 也就这样说 放就放。 是自己没有那么的耐力，还是真的还是要为钱而低头。 伸手拿钱，都知道永远是最没骨气的作风。也因之前 单纯的以为自己的画画，也被会赏识的人共有免之。哪知道，还不是一塌糊涂，全部被丢下咸水海。 你还不是一个失败者吗。 做了这么多，白浪费了这么多年，多钱，多应酬。最终，还不是，乖乖打工，做个与其他没什么分别的一个市区打工女人。 还想扮什么清高！ 还好，最在对的时机，对的贵人介绍下，也算找到了一份不错的工吧。至少，老板不追杀我的行踪，每天不和我讨报告，那都应该感恩了。 你，真的要好好挨下去，别再让人看衰，说都没一样可以长久，说什么长情，说什么有好的人格呢。 还是那句。真的很光荣可以自己分期的把刚买的钢琴终于还清了！！ 骄傲。 当然，要听的闲言闲语也多得很，也不就当作修炼，在不同的讽刺下仍然可以为自己修心，其实真的是疗愈的一大部分。就当给自己一个疗愈的疗程。能不能过，也只有自己和自己说。 第二的，当然！最开心的还是为自己终于 狠狠的做了决定换车了！！超兴奋。也真的不能把这种喜悦炫耀在面子书了，为那不必要的眼光带来更多的骚扰，为自己带来更多的负能量。不值得。就常要和自己说，这是你应得的，妈咪这么多年了，是真的为自己奖赏一下，为自己光荣的，要为自己开心，你辛苦了。 我要开始写更多的部落，也算是疗愈的一部分。要放过自己，也要懂得如何用对的疗程来应付。一起加油！

 说 自己该隔离的7天期限也过了。 今天，终于踏出了家的大门口。 想参与的跳舞班，竟然也被取消！也只好做了简单的日常物品的购物活动， 也只好乖乖返回家就好。 虽然， 看到的也只有一条线条。有点喜。 还是，过得小心还好。 这次上天的教训， 也明显是向我示威，做人要到点就好，别过分。 好在，真的， 祈求家人平安就好。

 也不晓得是真的第三天还是尾声了。 还好 痊愈都很快 为人母的 放不下 舍不得 怎样都趴起来。 很不幸的 先生和二少爷也一起中奖 就连 之前有一起聚会 的世伯也中了！😢😣 虽然 说没人想 也没人可以预测 但 开始的来源还是由我 内疚的很。 觉得自己开始很慌张   忙着把所有的东西消毒了再消毒 电话的讯息 一个问完再问 真的 。难受。 需要多少 的时间 可以再好好的和自己疗愈呢。 给力 给自己多一点的力量。 我相信我一定可以过。

 说 看回部落， 也有两年都不再写了 差点忘了，也不晓得把脚步放慢 再沉思一会， 到底生活过得还好吗，是自己真的要的吗 今年的情人节，也只留下独自的我 在房间好好可以沉思的机会。 说 说难不难，易不易  我本小姐也会被新型冠状病毒打下。 一个伤风开始，发烧症状，和接下来的干咳， 开始被隔离的那种感觉， 原来真的不好受。 说，是上天给的一个指示， 做人别夸，别自以为是，要遵从，要守， 不是一个小女人以为什么都可以自己应付，自己最棒最厉害， 一个点中了你，也是一样要受。 也说，也是时候好好和自己独处一下，放慢再重来过。 少了电话联系的通道， 不理不问的科技质询，觉得自己身心轻松了。 也不需再为什么讯息做出一定的回应。 原来，这才是一种享受，一种奢侈。 今天是第二天。 也就是我和自己该好好度过的情人节。 祝大家 情人快乐， 要感恩，要爱惜身边真的互护你的人。